Archive for the 'List of the day' Category

List of the day: “Enfamil”

Wednesday, May 16th, 2007

This must be a shopping list for Jim Jarmusch’s new film, “Formula and Cigarettes.” If not, I feel sorry for that poor baby. Stop smoking, bad mom! This is in the “Sad Lists” chapter on page 52.

List of the day: “Popcycles”

Tuesday, May 15th, 2007

“Popcycles” — they’re cold … and FAST!!!

List of the day: “Poop bags”

Monday, May 14th, 2007

Yep. Poop bags.

List of the day: “1/2 and 1/2″

Sunday, May 13th, 2007

Straight-Edge caffeine freak?

List of the day: “Spaghetti”

Saturday, May 12th, 2007

Now, if you know you’re having spaghetti, why do you even need to make this list?

List of the day: “Find plastic surgeon”

Friday, May 11th, 2007

I’ll be nice today. No comment.

List of the day: “Groceries”

Thursday, May 10th, 2007

Well, duh!

List of the day: “Cream of salary soup”

Wednesday, May 9th, 2007

This is one of the original lists from the collection: #15, in fact! And here’s my requisite smart-ass comment: “Two cans of ‘cream of salary soup.’ Now that’s just like eating money.” Ha! This is another bonus, web-only list that didn’t end up in the book.

List of the day: “Tissues…”

Tuesday, May 8th, 2007

Hmmm. “Tissues. Oil. AAA batteries.” What could they have planned? Maybe they need to lubricate their automatic tissue dispenser. Or maybe… hey! Oh! Nevermind! :-0

(This one appears in the “Paaar-ty!” chapter on page 43. As in, you know, private party!)

List of the day: “No lunch meat”

Monday, May 7th, 2007

Yep. This one’s not in the book, so consider it a free bonus!

List of the day: “Buttmilk”

Sunday, May 6th, 2007

“Next time you go shopping, please get some buttmilk. I like the store-bought kind much better than my homemade stuff.” This one appears in the “Just Plain Funny” chapter, on page 8.

List of the day: “Oreo B Interdental Refills”

Saturday, May 5th, 2007

“Oreo B Interdental Refills” — now I don’t know what an interdental refill is, but I am sure they are more fun to use if they’re made out of Oreos. Also, “bourbin.” This list appears in the “Just Plain Funny” chapter, right up from on page 4!

List of the day: Heart attack. ✔

Friday, May 4th, 2007

This artery clogging wonder appears on page 183 of the book, in the “Eating Wrong” chapter.

List of the day: “Close hangers”

Thursday, May 3rd, 2007

I love this one. I mean, heck, they actually spelled “clothes” like this: “close.” How completely pathetically awesome is that? Darn so. This one is from the very early days of the Grocery List Collection. I couldn’t find the original so it didn’t make it into the book which is why I present it to [...]

List of the day: “Tush cleaner”

Wednesday, May 2nd, 2007

Since yesterday’s list of the day was, um, hygiene oriented, let’s stick with that theme and scrub the other side! Ladies and gentlemen, may I present to you: Tush Cleaner! This one appears in the book on page 7, in the “Just Plain Funny” chapter.

This site is all about the book “Milk Eggs Vodka: Grocery Lists Lost and Found” by Bill Keaggy, published by HOW Books.

Go back to the web-only promo story, check out the absurd genesis of the book or contact author Bill Keaggy.