MILK EGGS VODKA [By Bill Keaggy]

I like this list because someone is obviously trying to start a new home.

And with that, I’ll call it a wrap on the List of the Day for May (every day). I’ll be posting more here and there…

I guess they really needed toilet paper.

“Nest Tea.” NEW IMPROVED FLAVOR! Now with EVEN MORE bird droppings!

Multi-tasking is good. You can go grocery shopping and remind yourself that it’s not your fault you’re a loser at the same time! (See note at bottom of list.)

I can’t believe it’s not better either, but for $1.19 — who cares?!

Um, how do you spell sheik? Oh yeah, I need toothpaste.

You better be brushing your teeth if that’s all you eat.

For the worst spelling of “bananas” so far.

“Next time you go shopping, please get some buttmilk. I like the store-bought much better than my homemade stuff.”

When they ggo to the ggrocery store, I gguess they always gget a lot of hot doggs and hamburgger.

I get the feeling someone’s having a very bad day.

“& whatever else you might want” — sweet!

“Suchi and strimp.” I love seafood too!

This one is sort of a classic just for the variety…

Not a grocery list, but a hunter’s to-do list. I mean, the marriage is pretty much doomed if you have to remind yourself to “Say goodbye to wife” — right? And you must not be very good at hunting if you have to remind yourself to kill the deer. Twice. Ha! Actually, Killdeer is a town in North Dakota, but it’s funnier to pretend he was reminding himself to kill a deer, right?